Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
