On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
