Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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