he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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