do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
