used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
