THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
