It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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