How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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