She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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