I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
