I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
