I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
