I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
