used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
why do cheetos always look like penises
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
