did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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