a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
