went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i love accidental penises.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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