Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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