so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
