Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize