Nicole vs. Life
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
