worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
