I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
