you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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