Me too!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
