You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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