well I can't set my house on fire every night
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
