If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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