I just cut my nipple shaving
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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