You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
