So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
