I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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