Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
