I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
