he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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