she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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