If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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