i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
her vagine was all disorganized.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
