Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
