I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
