And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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