He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
