I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
