whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
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