All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
