I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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