Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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