i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
