So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
