I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
