they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
