Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
