I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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