there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
