if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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