At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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