Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Vodka?
Forever.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
