trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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