I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
