I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize