1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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